Every informed parent knows that we cannot expect our children to simply do as we say; they must see us in action. Kids have incredible antennae and the uncanny ability to pick up even the slightest inconsistency, so if parents preach what they themselves aren’t practicing, their sermon is doomed to failure.
Right at the beginning of this week’s Torah reading, Emor, we come across a phrase that seems somewhat superfluous. “And G‑d said to Moses, ‘Say to the Priests, the sons of Aaron: You shall say to them not to allow themselves to become impure.” Why repeat the word “say”?
Rashi explains this seeming redundancy as follows: “Say to the priests that they, in turn, shall say it to their children.” i.e., Tell the adult Kohanim that they must warn the younger ones to stay away from impurities.
As ministers in the Holy Temple, the Kohanim were privileged to have been granted a higher degree of sanctity. Privilege always comes with responsibility, and one of their responsibilities was to maintain a rigorous level of purity.
It is a lesson not only to members of the priestly tribe, but to all of us. Every parent and teacher has the duty to educate the younger generation accordingly.
We are forever telling our kids, “Be a mensch!” But the only way our child will be a mensch is if we are a mensch.
Parents are the primary instructors when it comes to values, ethics, and what we call menschlichkeit. We may learn Torah and math at school, but values, decency, dignity and, in general, how to be a mensch are learned at home.
“Go to Shul!” doesn’t work. “Come to Shul,” or “Let’s go to Shul,” has a much better chance of success.
In real estate, they say that the three most important components of any property are “location, location, location.” And in education they say the three most effective tools are “example, example, example.”
Children who see parents and teachers acting on their own life lessons are far more likely to follow in their footsteps. Otherwise, no matter how loudly we shout or how eloquently we may speak, our words remain hollow. Children who experience a family code of honor, decency, honesty, or a genuine commitment to Jewish life, will very likely feel guided by those same values in their own lives.
It is up to us to be successful role models who practice what we preach and educate by example.
-adapted from www.chabad.org
