Ki Teitzei begins with a verse about going to war:
When you go out to war against your enemies, and the L‑rd, your G‑d, will deliver him into your hands, and you take his captives …
A more literal translation, however, would read: “When you go out to war on top of your enemies…”
The obvious question is, what does it mean to wage war “on top of” your enemy?
The first thing to understand is that this verse is not just an ancient command relevant to marauding armies equipped with sabers and bows. Rather, it speaks to people battling any opposition to their moral, religious, or overall well-being.
With profound psychological insight, the Chassidic masters explained that a person has multiple spiritual-emotional layers. In broad terms, they are the “conscious” and “subconscious” terrains of our emotional and psychological landscape, a duality the Kabbalists labeled the “inner” and “outer” heart.
The outer heart is the more external part of yourself, the “I” that says, “I want pizza, Lamborghinis, and a good movie.” Do you want those things? Yes. Do those desires reflect who you really are? I suppose not.
And then there’s the “inner heart,” far deeper and closer to who you really are. At this level, you’re no longer talking about how much you’d love to get the next model smartphone. At this level, your desires and convictions are manifestations of your truest self. Usually, things like family, a desire to live, as well as a drive to make the world a better place are the things people talk about when expressing their “inner heart.”
The key to winning most battles in life, the Kabbalists explain, is to access this “inner heart.” When you’re faced with a challenge and you’re feeling beaten down by the pressure, remember: you’re better than that. It is your conscious self, your “outer heart” that is being challenged, but your truer self, the core “you” that hopes and dreams for meaningful and altruistic things, is far above this challenge.
The more you can peel away the outer heart and remind yourself that you are defined by your inner self, the higher you will automatically place yourself above your enemy—you will have taken the strategic high ground. The opposition doesn’t stand a chance against you, for your truer, inner, and deeper self doesn’t see it as a challenge to begin with. The real you is concerned with better things.
Think about this way: You’re fighting with your spouse, your child, your parent, your friend—whoever it may be. You’re heated up and starting to feel like you hate them, yourself, the world. You fidget, you’re angry, you’re calling them all kinds of ugly names and thinking ugly thoughts. You feel exhausted as this is the hundredth time it’s happened. You feel like you want to rip them to shreds, only to realize that doing so will make you lose once again.
You’re losing. Big time. The very ground between you is burning, and you know that whether you “win” or “lose,” you will both lose. All you want to do now is bust out of the closed space you’re in and transport yourself to Mars until this apocalyptic conflict is over.
Remember: “On top of your enemy.” Do different. Do better.
Think about how amazing you are. You don’t deserve this. You’re a person with so much inner strength and a promising list of achievements. Who you really are has nothing to do with this loser getting hot under the collar.
You’re the person with dreams, hopes, and talents to share with the world. You’re the person your friends/children/spouse adore, who has an incredible relationship with G‑d. You have a deep soul that is involved with incredible things, with noble and edifying ambitions. Why are you getting sucked into this vortex of toxicity? This is not you, and you don’t need this in your life at all.
Step up and be “over” your enemy. Take the strategic high ground.
-adapted from www.chabad.org
